Toronto Proper is best entered via one of its two most cinematic orifices: the first, and my personal favorite, is from the west, along the Gardiner Expressway eastbound toward the Spadina exit; the second, and only slightly-less sublime, is from the east, southbound along the curving Don Valley Parkway, all the way to the bottom where it narrows into a funnel, pressurizing the flow of traffic and ejaculating onto the Gardiner westbound – also making its final approach on the Spadina exit. At the bottom of the Spadina exit, abandon your car here and start walking – in any direction – without looking back. Don’t worry, in less than ten minutes the City will take it away and you will henceforth be emancipated. I cannot recommend the best route for leaving the city, because I’ve never tried it. Continue reading →
The bumpy transition from street to parking lot is completely devoid of any attempt by hired contractor to merge the two planes seamlessly. Instead, there is a gap chopped out of the pre-existing curb only to be confronted by a newer, lower curb about two and a half inches high. In the centre of this entrance/gap, the municipal side of the awkward border dips just enough to compel water, and anything else that moves, into the direction of a storm drain, covered by a grate designed to keep anything wider than a bicycle tire from entering the city’s bowels. Continue reading →
Published in Shackles and Cringles Sailing Magazine by The Canadian Albacore Association Spring 2013.
No one has ever called this the Toronto Sailing Show. It is the Toronto Boat Show. And if you are a sailor, you will have to navigate a city of towering bridge boats, shiny accoutrements and a fleet of disembodied outboard motors before happening upon the object of your affection. Unlike the rules of the water, the tradeshow rule for right-of-way favors powerboats. Sailing-related exhibits are pushed aside, hidden away as if their devotees are the acolytes of some esoteric cult. Well, it is true that sailing requires unique skills and knowledge of secret rituals. It has its own language. We prefer a challenge. Very well, I shall take the long way. Continue reading →